people who arent furries in 2023 fall into two categories: know their own specific kind of weird so well that they dont need to be a furry, or lame
ALT
Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.
Not letting these stay in the tags, damn.
Let yourself be Goop.
Anonymous asked:
I think the eight alarms thing is usually a maladaptation. You've trained your brain to ignore the eight alarms because you kept avoiding the training of willpower following the first alarm would require. I think some sleep therapy might help?
ms-demeanor answered:
Hey so first of all fuck you, thanks.
Second: I love it when you read literature on sleep disorders, especially if it’s on sleep disorders among folks with ADHD, and you see time and time again “when allowed to sleep on their preferred schedule subjects maintained healthy, normal, restorative sleep cycles” and “effects were not lasting without ongoing intervention; resetting the sleep schedule is a permanent effort.”
Like, if I sleep *great* from 6am to 2pm and I wake up feeling rested and alert with no special help but I need to turn off the lights in my house and shut down all electronics at 8pm and beam a spotlight into my face starting at 5am to wake up at seven and feel exhausted all day, I think perhaps it is not actually my sleep cycle that is wrong it is perhaps society that is wrong.
BELIEVE ME, when I find the job that pays well and has decent insurance that lets me exist as a cheerful nighttime ghoul I am jumping on that with both feet. But until then I literally feel better getting six hours of sleep and occasionally sleeping so hard that i can’t hear my alarms because of chronic sleep deprivation than I do turning off all the lights in my house and ceasing all activity two and a half hours after I get off of work.
Also: the eight alarms aren’t all there to wake me up, it’s just that sometimes I *also* sleep through the ones that are supposed to remind me to go sit at my desk and start work. One of the first three usually gets me up, but on a day when I sleep through all three of those I will be sleeping through all eight of them and usually a phone call and someone trying to shake me awake to.
ANYWAY after being treated with melatonin and light therapy and staring listlessly at the ceiling in the dark bored out of my skull with racing thoughts for sleep disorders that I didn’t have for like twenty years the single most effective intervention that allowed me to get more sleep as someone with both ADHD and DSPD was to start hanging out and being active in places where it would be easy to fall asleep if the sleep caught me there instead of turning my bedroom into a dark, silent shrine of snoozing. Giving myself permission to fall asleep late instead of laying awake chewing myself up with guilt for not being asleep helped too.
Actually here’s some tips for the sleepy bitches in the crowd:
1 - If you’re laying down and not falling asleep in half an hour, you’re not actually sleepy; read something or get up and do something because you’re more likely to get sleepy faster that way than you are staring at the clock going “if I fall asleep now I’ll have three hours and forty five minutes of rest when I have to go to work; If I fall asleep now I’ll have three hours and twenty minutes of sleep when I have to get up, etc. etc.”
2 - Allow yourself to be ambushed by sleep. Fall asleep on your cozy couch. Fall asleep in the comfy chair. Let yourself sleep where you fall asleep instead of dragging yourself to where you’re ‘supposed’ to sleep if doing so will wake you up.
3 - The mythbusters thing. If you just lay down and close your eyes and pretend to rest you will feel more rested when you get up than when you laid down. Laying down to rest is better than nothing, it literally causes cognitive improvements similar to sleep in tests, and knowing that can help take off some of the pressure of not being able to fall asleep and can thus help you fall asleep.
4 - It’s okay to “hang out” in the area where you’re going to sleep. Read in bed. Play games on your cellphone in bed. If you want to go to sleep put on comfy clothes and bring a chill activity and hang out in your bed to do it so that all you have to do when you start getting sleepy is close your eyes.
5 - It’s better to get some sleep than no sleep. Sometimes you look at the clock and it’s six AM and whoops, fuck it. Okay, time for bed, don’t stress that you’re only going to get a few hours, a few hours is better than nothing. Lay down to pretend to rest at least and you’ll probably feel okay.
6 - This one sounds silly and might not work for a bunch of people for a bunch of reasons but apparently there’s some research suggesting that “well-rested” is a state of mind? I’ve had a reasonable amount of success with just telling myself “Yeah, I actually feel pretty good,” and pushing through the day on a couple of hours of sleep. I don’t *recommend* that and you should try to get as much sleep as possible, but yeah the next time you’re low on sleep see what happens if you just try to decide to not be tired. It sounded like bullshit to me when I first heard it but I’ve found some success with it.
7 - This shit is cumulative. If you’re doing a couple nights a week on low sleep that’s not ideal but you’re probably going to be pretty functional and you can work on it. If you overbook and overextend yourself for too long - I’m looking at you college students and new parents - it’s going to add up. Try as much as possible to at least keep your sleep deficit nights spread out. (This message brought to you by writing 60k words of fiction in october and completely frying my brain because i wasn’t getting enough sleep).
Also nobody who hasn't spent forever being treated for insomnia or who hasn't done extensive reading on circadian rhythm disorders or who isn't someone who actually studies sleep is ever impressed enough by this:
I added two hours of sleep to my average night by making one simple intervention that didn't require medication or an enforced zone of darkness and quiet for everyone in the house and that can't be disrupted by a vacation or staying up on New Year's.
Sometimes I feel a little crazy with how badly I want people to understand *THAT IS A HUGE FUCK OFF DEAL*, that is a life-changing improvement with a minimal intervention and that intervention is "feel free to hang out in bed and be ready to fall asleep whenever you start feeling sleepy at bedtime, whether that's on the couch or in your bed or on the floor because if you have to *get up* to put yourself to bed you are going to delay when you are actually able to fall asleep and if you're bad at reading your body signals that might push your sleep back by several hours."
Two hours is, like, the best case scenario goal for a lot of sleep improvement plans, over and above what is typical for most people under the supervision of a doctor. And I managed to pull that off because I stopped hanging out with my laptop in a chair in my garage and started hanging out with my phone in bed.
So yeah if you're, like, the parent of a chronically under-slept teen with ADHD or whatever please for the love of fuck just let them start sleeping on the couch if that's where they fall asleep instead of making them get up and go to bed. Just try it. See what happens. For a lark.
Also if you live with someone who is chronically under-slept and you keep trying to enforce early bedtimes or tech-free bedrooms or strict sleep zones or if you *wake people up to move them to the appropriate sleep zone* please consider that you might be making things worse.
Fuckin. Self-righteous-ass morning people banging around at 6AM "oh hmmm well I see you fell asleep on the couch again, time to get up and get ready for the day, I don't have to be quiet you should have gone to bed on time and in your room" I am setting you on fire with my mind.
I spent the hours from 12am to 4am tiptoeing around and wincing when i closed cabinet doors and not flushing the toilet so that you could sleep and now you're over here fucking an espresso machine with a chainsaw and calling *me* the asshole? Eat shit.
Do you like this song? #67
Yes, I've heard it before
Yes, first time
No, I've heard it before
No, first time
Daryl Hall & John Oates - Out of Touch
1984
"Out of Touch" was released as the lead single from Daryl Hall & John Oates' twelfth studio album Big Bam Boom. This song was their last Billboard Hot 100 number-one single, topping the chart for two weeks in December 1984. It also became the duo's fourteenth consecutive top 40 hit since 1980.
According to John Oates, he came up with the chorus while randomly playing around with a synthesizer that he did not know how to use. He thought it could be a song for the Stylistics, having a Philly sound. But in the studio the next day a co-producer told him it should be a hit for Hall & Oates themselves.
It recieved a total of 84,4% yes votes.
It's really fucked up when you treat characters like people and people like characters.
No seriously it's REALLY fucked up when you treat characters as if they were real live people while you treat people like they're just characters.
I'm gonna go ahead and repeat: it is super, duper, extra scooper fucked up when you treat a character as if it were a living person while treating other human beings like they are merely characters.
Amazon’s Climate Pledge Was a Lie
Jeff Bezos LIED TO OUR FACES 4 years ago that Amazon would lead the way on carbon reduction. Since then, the firm’s emissions have risen by 40%—& its use of creative accounting suggests that the real figure is far higher
Drove around a bit at Lee Kay Ponds yesterday and had a surprise visitor. This is the first Osprey I had ever seen out there. The nesting platform it is on usually has eagles or great blue herons in it. It was a wonderful surprise for sure.
my writing ability currently feels on par with that of like…. a seven year old. i’m just writing one sentence. then another sentence. subject verb object, dependent clause period. do any of them relate? unclear. that is for god to decide. i certainly can’t.
the url makes this so much funnier
@goo-helio-nite submitted: Pretty guy! Reminded me of a lovebug without the red spot, but I wasn't sure what it actually was. About half an inch or so long? Found near [removed]! (please remove)
Well-spotted as this man and love bugs are both march flies! This one, I think, is Penthetria heteroptera, which has no common name as far as I know. And it's a male! Females have a very tiny head comparatively.
sometimes angels are real. And they are in the form of the people letting you merge from the ramp onto the highway
when they slow down and do that little hand gesture.. i feel like a wounded animal being rescued from a barbed wire fence. my life is in your hands and you have shown me such kindness. we’re soul bonded now ms. kia sorento
I have learned new information. This is from a post about how to get the most disapproval points from companions.
Can’t stop laughing at the idea of Gale stomping his feet in anger, not because Astarion is a vampire but because he’s lying about it
🐱 Work in progress. Made a little bunch of these needle booksies last weeek, still need to upload to etsy. Happy with these colour palettes.
[etsy]
